


Chasing Redemption

by IRL_OrionPax



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sibling Incest, This gets... dark, i rarely update im sorry, ignores endgame
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-21 00:37:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16148882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IRL_OrionPax/pseuds/IRL_OrionPax
Summary: Thanos has been defeated and the people he erased, restored. And yet there are still those who died in simpler, more "old-fashioned" ways as a result of his mad quest. Those are the ones who won't ever come back.





	1. 01

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [100 Lifetimes](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/420935) by Wisterings. 



> This'll be my first time writing in a while, so please be patient!
> 
> I do not own any characters or properties used in this work.

Trapped. Helpless. Watching as his brother offers himself to a lunatic in an attempt to save him. 

Loki had "died" many times before, but there was always some trick, some way he would come back. Not this time. This time, all Thor has left is one last memory of being unable to save the one person he loved more than anyone, even Jane.

Thanos has been defeated and the people he erased, restored. And yet there are still those who died in simpler, more "old-fashioned" ways as a result of his mad quest. Those are the ones who won't ever come back. 

The lady in a dark hood who lives at the edge of the galaxy seems to disagree. Her voice comes from somewhere behind her, soft and toneless. "What do you seek?"

Their meeting room is dimly lit and stinks of something dead. Thor shifts in his chair. He had been searching for someone who could harness whatever power Loki seemed to use. Someone who could help him fix his mistakes. "I seek..." he clears his throat and tries again, "I seek a way to rescue my brother. I failed to protect him, and now he's dead."

Her head inclines, and she steeples her fingers. Thor still can't see her face. He bites the inside of his lip.

"What do you truly seek?"

"I want my brother back." Thor feels compelled to tell everything to this woman, for some reason. "I want to be able to tell him how I feel and to live my life with him by my side."

Something in the back of his brain argues that this is wrong, terribly wrong. He ignores it. This could be his one chance. He feels disconnected from his body and mouth, as though he's watching someone else sit in this room and talk to this woman.

Her black lips stretch into a grin of pointed teeth. "If I could give you another chance to save your brother, would you?"

"Yes."

"How long would you be willing to sacrifice yourself for him?"

Thor sees vividly a scenario in which he and Loki are together and happy, and he doesn't care about any possible consequences. "As long as it takes."

"Are you certain?"

"Yes."

She produces a curved blade from her sleeve. "I can give you what you want, but I need your blood in order to seal our contract." Still no change in apparent facial expression or tone of voice.

Thor is unsettled, to say the very least, which isn't a situation he's used to. He reminds himself that this is for Loki. He takes a deep breath and squares his shoulders. As he reaches his hand out to her, he does not tremble, neither does his voice shake as he says, "Do what you must."

A chuckle. "Very well then." She slices his hand open.

Thor feels dizzy. His breathing is shallow. His pulse is roaring in his ears. All sense of calm or courage flees as he realizes he's been tricked. He imagines Loki would be disappointed in him. 

He hears the woman's voice as if from a great distance. "Upon the end of this life, you shall live countless more until your conditions are satisfied. Thus it is done."

Thor blacks out.


	2. Round 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> well, Thor's had a pretty rough year. surely making a deal with a shady wizard that ended with him being stabbed will help, right?
> 
> WARNINGS  
> death, csa mentions, suicide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm super behind on this challenge. my hope is that I can catch up, but I'm not the best with deadlines or consistency, so bear with me.

Ch. 2

Thor's head is pounding. He feels sore all over, as if he'd been tossed about the room. Top it all off, he's nauseous. He tries opening his eyes, but what little light he sees turns the throbbing into a stabbing. Oh gods, he's gonna puke. He tries to blindly feel for the edge of the bed so he can aim his vomit and just barely makes it. He lays back, the taste still in his mouth, as he silently berates himself for doing this again.

When he woke up the first time after being poisoned, he was in a small room with a bed, a chair, a couple of tables, a Midgardian moving-picture device, and a bathroom to one side. There was an I.D. in the drawer with his photo and the name "Thor Allegaård" on it. He was wearing faded denim and a thin, worn shirt. He looked at his hand, but there was no mark there except for what looked like old scars.

Questions swirled and collided in his mind: Was he no longer Aesir, no longer Thor Odinson? What had that witch done to him? How would he get back?

He spent the better part of that first week trying to find a way back. Then it dawned on him. The witch had said that he would live "countless" lives until his "conditions are met". Thor had told the witch that he wanted a chance to tell his brother of his feelings and have a long, happy life together with him. Perhaps those were the "conditions". If he could only find Loki, then perhaps this alternate reality would end and they could both go home.

That had been three years ago. Since then, Thor hasn't found a single clue as to Loki's whereabouts. Not for lack of trying. After getting his bearings somewhat, he looked up Tony Stark, the most publicly known of his Midgardian friends. That had been disastrous. His numerous, increasingly desperate calls culminated in him being told that if he called again, he would be reported to police for harassment and stalking. The other Midgardians he tried to find all said much the same things: "Who are you?" "What kind of dumb name is Thor?" "Wait, you mean like the ancient Norse myths?"

After all these dead ends, he's taken to drinking heavily so he can forget how much it hurts being completely transplanted. He also tends to forget that human bodies have a much lower alcohol tolerance than Aesir ones. This leads, of course, to mornings much like this one.

This life isn't all bad. He lives in an enormous apartment. He works as a mercenary. He sometimes coaches little league baseball. He is bored out of his mind and so lonely he aches.

Today is ball practice. After moaning in bed for another thirty minutes, Thor showers, brushes his teeth, and gets in his car. He weaves in and out of rush-hour traffic; he has places to be, goddammit! He gets there early, as usual, and starts setting up. 

He hears a child's voice behind him. "Excuse me, sir?"

He turns around, Big Friendly Coach Smile in place. "Hello there! How can I..." the words die on his lips. No. No, no, no, no, no. Not like this. Please, not like this. 

In front of him stands a little boy, about the age for Thor's baseball team of 7-9 year olds. He has a slim build, pale complexion, dark hair, a serious face, and piercing green eyes. The child speaks again: "Is everything alright?"

Thor blinks, shakes his head a little, and puts the smile back on. "Not at all! I was just expecting your parents to be with you, is all."

The boy gives Thor a look. "You're a really bad liar."

Thor raises his eyebrows slightly and tries to keep the dismay off his face and out of his voice. "Yes, I suppose you're right. The truth is, you remind me of a boy I was friends with when I was your age. What's your name?"

"Liam."

"Well, Liam, what brings you here?"

"I want to play baseball."

"That won't be a problem! Where are your parents so we can get you signed up?"

"Oh." The boy looks at the ground. "You see, my mom's in the hospital right now, and my dad died when I was little." He scuffs the dirt with his shoe. "And, well... I was kinda hoping you could sign me up without her knowing? It'd just make her worried."

Thor knew this was probably some sort of trick, but he didn't know what kind exactly. "Unfortunately, Liam, I have to have the permission of at least one parent. My bosses won't let me sign you up otherwise."

Liam's face darkens. "Fine. I'll tell my mom you molested me, how about that?"

Thor's eyes widen and his jaw drops, but he realizes that there really can't be much doubt now. His own face hardens. "Boy, there are cameras all over this field. Your threat wouldn't hold much water."

"Liam" turns and runs. Thor lets him go, knowing that any attempt to call him back would only invite more trouble. 

Finding Loki didn't go at all as planned, he thinks. even if he hadn't been a little terror, there would've been no way things could've worked out like this. Thor decides to protect him anyway. Who knows? Maybe if this life goes well, the next one--

His thought processes are cut off by the sound of tires screeching, screams, the sound of a soft object being hit. His stomach drops. He sprints toward the sound to see Loki lying facedown on the ground. Thor rushes to him, kneeling by his side. "Call an ambulance!" he commands the onlookers. He feels for a pulse, for any breathing. Nothing. He turns Loki over, gently. The boy's eyes are staring emptily and his neck swivels sickeningly. Thor's hands drop to his sides. His blood goes cold. He stands up, swaying. Nothing feels real. He can't process it. 

He feels ill. He failed. He failed when this one was just a child. What is he supposed to do if he fails? Does he keep living out his life, knowing he'll have to do it over again? No, he knows what he needs to do.

Sirens blare in the distance as Thor walks toward his car. He once more believes he hears the witch's cold, emotionless voice: "Upon the end of this life..." He gets in the car and pulls an automatic pistol from the glove box. "... you shall live countless others..." He cocks the weapon, removes the safety, and places the gun in his mouth. "...until your conditions are satisfied." With tears streaming down his face, he pulls the trigger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing and editing at 2am? me? its more likely than youd think


End file.
